To Cris (comment #16)

Answer from William Maltese

Cris:

Notice that I said I thought there was a feminine “side” to all men, and a masculine “side” to all women (anyway, I hope that’s what I said). None of which means that men have all sides, tops, and bottoms (no pun intended, there) that are feminine. Because, I do believe, yes, that there are many differences between men and women that go far beyond the fact that men posses a certain “something” that’s particularly vulnerable, especially when swimming nude in any body of water containing fish out for a snack.

Men, I truly do believe, are definitely more out for sex for the sake of sex. They see a woman, “any” woman, and their inclination is to mate.

Women, sex important, too (child-bearing always in mind, though), I think, have a tendency to sit back, before getting down to the nitty-gritty with any guy, to try and figure out all of the favorable and negative qualities in a man which might be passed on by the genes to any offspring that may (or may not) result from a sexual encounter. Women prefer their sex with at least a little bit of emotional involvement, even if it doesn’t always require an attending proposal for marriage and/or an engagement ring on the finger. You see it all of the time in nature, wherein the female of the species doesn’t consent to sex with just every Tom, Dick, and Harry to appear on the scene. She usually waits for the guy who’ll provide her with the most of what she wants in a man. Well, okay, in most of nature, it’s the weaklings that get beaten off by the butcher studs, but with “civilized” human beings that kind of natural selection doesn’t always happen, making it particularly important that a woman decide who’s out there “for her” and whether he can provide her with what she wants, emotionally and physically. Therefore, for women, sex is a more cerebral thing — at least in my opinion. Women think a lot; men just jump on in (and or “on”) and think about it later (if they think about it at all).

I think that for a women to write successfully from a man’s perspective (and it has been done), and for a man to write successfully from a female’s perspective (and it has been done), the authors have to have done at least a bit of observation of human nature. Frankly, I know men who couldn’t any more write from a woman’s perspective (in fact would think it emasculating to do so), and I know women who couldn’t manage a successful write from a man’s perspective (agghungggh, all of that testosterone and other ape-like stuff). Certainly, any author, to write from another gender’s perspective, has to have a knack for doing it, and/or has to make a concentrated effort to take notes, or they’ll be found out for sure, especially since there are so many female readers thoroughly convinced they can spot female perspective written by a man, and so many men who are certain they can spot male perspective written by a female.

I’m always surprised by how men and women like to think their gender is something to be horded and not to be shared, like the rituals of some secret society known only by those who are members. I’ve had women’s mouths drop all of the way to the floor when they’ve discovered I’ve written a book they thoroughly enjoyed. Some of them take it graciously, with a laugh and a smile, and a “Jeez, you did fool me.” Others don’t take it nearly as well, get downright who-gave-you-access-to-our-private-secrets belligerent.

I truly believe that there is no man who will ever completely know a woman, or a woman who will ever completely know a man (which is a good thing, because a bit of mystery is important in any relationship). What I am saying is that there are certain qualities both genders do share. And there are certain qualities they do not share that can be discovered if one is only prepared to take the time and make the effort to search them out. Take the time, make the effort, and I think truly enjoyable books — by a man for a woman — by a woman for a man — can and are written.